Every time I sat down at my computer, I could feel it–

the stress of the work.

It was not just in my mind, but in my body.

Periodically, I would become aware of the pain I was in, then I would catch myself and realize, oh–your shoulders are hunched up to your neck, you’re death gripping your mouse, you’re gritting your teeth so hard you’re about to give yourself an aneurysm, and your forearms are clenched to the same degree as someone trying to win a powerlifting competition.

No wonder you’re in so much pain.

The mental tension, force, and stress behind trying to make my work perfect was unconsciously manifesting as involuntary physical tension in my body.

What was behind all this?

The anxiety with which I approached work was much deeper than the work itself.

It was an anxiety of not being good enough…aka perfectionism.

Here are four mindset shifts that I reiterate to myself to help me overcome it.

01 / What you do is not who you are.

Perfectionism occurs when you fight to validate your existence and earn admiration from others through what you do rather than who you are.

If you go back far enough, you can probably point to your earliest memory of receiving praise for something you did–a task, a project, a creation, an award you won…

In that moment, you found out that you could get love through some form of performance or production.

You discovered a way that you could feel worthy, and feel good enough.

The problem with this is that It feels good to connect our personal value to our work when we receive praise.

But what happens when we receive criticism?

There is a difference between who you are and what you do.

And the value of the former is not predicated upon the latter.

When you separate who you are from what you do, you give perfectionism less power because every task you fight to finish is no longer a fight to prove your personal worth.

02 / For now, not forever.

My sister and I were riding the subway one day, and we both noticed and pointed out to each other that the girl next to us had a really cute phone case.

The next day, my sister had that case on her phone.

Meanwhile, I was just about to start to open my 17 tabs in Chrome, each with a different Amazon listing, and start the process of reading product descriptions, perusing photos, and going through the reviews (all of them).

If all went well, I would have a new phone case in T minus five weeks.

This happened three and a half months ago.

I still don’t have a new phone case.

Apparently, according to Laura Vanderkam’s book, Off the Clock, there are two types of people–maximizers and satisficers.

The satisficer prioritizes making quick decisions, considers fewer options, and is more satisfied with the outcomes of their choices.

The maximizer seeks to make the perfect decision, wants to consider all possible options, and is less satisfied with the outcomes of their choices.

The maximizer in me permeates through every area of my life, including my work, where it manifests as perfectionism.

I want everything I create to be absolutely perfect.

The part I forget is that most things can be changed.

Most things are not etched in stone or sealed in blood.

Things can be upgraded, changed, or improved later.

Imagine if the iPhone was never released in 2007 because Apple was stuck on trying to create back then, the model we use in 2024.

Prioritize completion over perfection.

Finish.

Release.

If it helps you press publish, press send, or whatever it takes to metaphorically or literally “ship your work” as Seth Godin puts it, think of finishing for now.

Remember, you always have the option to come back later and iterate.

But half the time, you’ll feel so good about completion that you probably never will.

03 / There’s more than one best way.

There is always more than one way to successfully do something.

There is always more than one way to do a “good job.”

Think of your favorite movie.

You determined that was your favorite movie based on what you saw on the screen between the opening and closing credits.

But that’s not the only way the movie could have turned out.

You didn’t see the other drafts of the script.

You didn’t see the other edits of the scenes.

You didn’t see the parts that were cut.

You didn’t see the director, writer, and producer torture themselves over taking out their favorite parts in order to create the end result that you saw.

But in the end, it still turned out to be your favorite movie.

When you complete and present your work, people don’t know everything that ended up on the cutting room floor.

And they don’t care.

They only know what was presented to them.

So don’t worry about trying to create something the exact “right” or “perfect” way.

There is always more than one “best” way.

It’s just like when you’re traveling somewhere.

There’s more than one way to get to the same destination.

You can take the freeway, you can take local streets, you can take a combination of both.

There is a near endless number of combinations of different turns that will get you to the same place in the end.

04 / Good to you is good to you.

When I feel like my writing isn’t good enough, I like to go to Amazon, and look at my favorite books (some of which happen to also be best sellers).

I’ll look at books like Atomic Habits, and The Untethered Soul, and look at the 1-star reviews.

These are books that have changed my life, books that have changed the lives of their authors from being at the top of the charts for years and garnering millions of dollars in sales, books that I am constantly shouting from the rooftops about and recommending to everyone who will listen.

If there are people who can find a way to hate those books, does it make sense for me to hold myself to a ridiculous standard of perfection for my book?

Look at all the greats.

Think of your favorite entertainers.

Mine is Beyonce.

Think of my favorite entertainer.

Think of Beyonce.

The woman can sing, dance, and captivate attention like no other.

200 million record sales would agree.

Yet, there are people who don’t like her and don’t think she’s very good.

(Maybe you’re one of them. If you are, don’t tell me, I want us to still be able to be friends.)

If it’s possible that someone of Beyonce’s obvious caliber of talent is in someone else’s eyes not good enough, even despite having already amassed astronomical levels of success that other people can’t even imagine, then why would you hold yourself to an impossible standard of perfection.

“Good” is subjective.

“Amazing” to one person is “God-awful” to another.