The Real Reason Why You Procrastinate
I ate 6 stroopwafels today…within the span of an hour.
In my defense, at first I only ate 5, then the 6th one was taunting me in my refrigerator, so I just ate it to put it out of its misery…ok ok, to put myself out of my own misery.
I couldn’t work, focus, clean, relax, or sleep, knowing there was a stray stroopwafel in the house.
If you know what stroopwafels are, you’re probably judging me by now.
If you don’t know what stroopwafels are, you probably know enough to know that eating 6 of them in an hour sounds like a bad idea.
If you’re not familiar with this devil’s delight, it’s probably in your best interest to keep it that way–your waistline, and your dentist will thank you.
If you have a sweet tooth, do yourself a favor and don’t look it up.
Ah, what the heck–in the interest of not going down alone, if you’re not familiar with it, I’ll tell you what it is–
Picture it: A thin, gooey layer of caramel, sandwiched between two palm-sized, soft, yet lightly crispy cinnamon wafers reminiscent of waffle cones.
Welcome to the dark side.
Eating stroopwafels was my way of running away from responsibility.
If not a stroopwafel, it would have been an oreo.
If not an oreo, it would have been a macaron.
If not a macaron, it would have been a double scoop of gelato.
I’m supposed to be writing, but here I am, again, finding new and creative ways to procrastinate, each one more delicious than the last.
The bottom line was I was choosing a taste-bud fiesta and sugar rush over succumbing to the pull of my to-do list.
But why procrastinate?
Why torture yourself?
Why put off the inevitable?
I was struggling to write the article.
I was dreading it.
Why?
I thought it would be too hard.
Why?
Because I thought it had to be perfect.
I was holding myself to a standard of perfection.
I set the bar so high I didn’t even want to enter the race.
I was not just running away from the task itself, I was running away from having to face the doubt in my ability to efficiently and successfully execute it.
I was running away from overwhelm, and the fear of overwhelm.
I was running away from the fear of it taking too long to do.
But after all that running away, I was still left with the same to-do list.
When we procrastinate, we’re not delaying an action–we’re delaying a feeling.
We procrastinate in order to not feel discomfort.
We procrastinate in order to avoid the unfavorable story we are telling, not just about the work, but about ourselves.
Procrastination is a coping mechanism to avoid anxiety around a task, but that ironically creates even more anxiety around it.
By putting things off, we don’t eliminate the need to have to do them, we just create an environment where urgency is increased, and our self-concept is decreased.
You think you’ll feel better now, but really, you’ll just feel disappointed later.
Sometimes, we find ourselves doing seemingly harmless things, in the name of treating ourselves or giving ourselves a break, but those things must be earned and countered with discipline and responsibility.
A break, by definition, cannot exist without work.
Does a dog get a treat before doing a trick?
No.
So why should you get a stroopwafel before doing your work?
Here are a few questions to reflect on:
- What have you been avoiding doing?
- What is your favorite way of avoiding doing this?
- What are you really trying to avoid (the feeling, not the task)?
- What is the story that you tell yourself (about yourself, and the task) every time you face this task?
- Why are you feeling that?
- What can you do to change it? How can you reframe the task, and make it easier, more fun, or more efficient? How can you change the story you tell about yourself?
If you ask yourself these questions before getting to your 6th stroopwafel, maybe, hopefully, you won’t suffer from my same fate…even as delicious as that fate may have been…
