You know that amazing feeling when you’ve crossed the last thing off your to-do list?

It’s like a huge weight has been lifted, you feel lighter, you’re overcome with this immense feeling of accomplishment and pride in yourself, there’s a peace and calmness that wash over you, and you finally feel like you can lie back, kick your feet up, and exhale with relief and self-satisfaction.

You know how that feeling only lasts 2.3 milliseconds because that’s how long it takes for you (or someone else) to put something new on your to-do list?

It’s easy to feel good when things feel finished, and wrapped up in a pretty little bow.

But so little of life allows us to experience that.

Throughout our entire lives, inevitably, there’s always an innumerable amount of things we are either at the beginning, middle, or end of.

We’re juggling multiple projects with different timelines, varying responsibilities with different levels of urgency, numerous tasks at different stages, and a revolving door of assignments with different deadlines.

We can’t wait until we’re at the finish line to feel peace.

But so many people do, and in doing so, they rob themselves of the ability to enjoy the moment, never feel like they deserve rest, and never allow themselves to feel proud of what they have done for always focusing on what they have not yet done.

I used to think I had to cross everything off my to-do list to feel at peace.

But then I learned that real peace comes from being able to feel okay even when things are pending and unfinished.

Here are a few simple ways to change your relationship with your to-do list, so that you can feel okay, despite the fact that you always have (and always will have) a zillion and one things to do.

Note everything. Hide almost everything.

Think of your brain as a machine for processing, instead of storage.

Everything you think of that you need to do, don’t just hold it in your head or rely on memory.

Write it down.

Have a place for every task by category.

You can keep it simple and just have a to-do list for work projects, creative projects, personal, things to buy, etc.

It doesn’t matter what your categories are.

It just matters that you have them and every time you think of something, you immediately take note of it and add it to your master list under the correct category.

An app that you can access on both your phone and computer is ideal for this so you’ll have your list at all times, wherever you go, plus it’s searchable and can be easily and neatly reorganized as needed.

(I like to use Asana for this.)

Now that you have a master list, keep it hidden.

Your life’s to-do’s are as numerous as the stars in the sky.

But on any given day, you should be able to count your priorities on one hand.

And more importantly to your mental peace, on any given day, you should only be able to see that day’s priorities.

You only need to look at your master list periodically when you are pulling from it to assign yourself your daily priorities.

You don’t have to win your whole life today. You have your whole life for that. Just try to win today. And determine success based on doing the few things you said you would do today.

And when you do, celebrate and recharge.

Celebrate the baby steps, and rest after each one.

Whenever you do what you said you would, no matter how small, you deserve celebration, and deserve a break. 

Your life’s to-do list goes to infinity and beyond, remember?

In order to be able to keep going, you’re going to need to constantly take periodic rest, and refuel yourself mentally and emotionally by acknowledging pride in yourself for executing your micro commitments.

Define (and adjust) your priorities.

Knowing that there are a million things you could do, but you can’t do everything, the only choice you have is to focus on what is most important right now.

Deadlines are the most obvious indicators of priority.

Address the most time sensitive things first.

Anything with an immovable deadline should go towards the top of your priority list.

After that, should come the most impactful things.

This would include whatever task can:

• make the most progress towards your goals
• make the biggest positive impact on your quality of life
• create the most long term rather than short term benefits

Those should be your next priorities.

And know that priority is flexible.

Something can be high priority today, and lower priority tomorrow.

What is urgent today may not be urgent tomorrow.

Sometimes, your circumstances or life events outside of your control will dictate how things shift in priority–and when this happens, accept it.

Also know that it’s okay for you to have a say in whether things should or should not maintain the same level of priority.

When you work with your priorities, you won’t always be getting everything done, but you will always be getting the most important things at any given moment done.

And that is more than good enough.

Accept the finite.

Most people fight the finite, then beat themselves up about it.

Time, energy, and attention are fixed.

And that’s okay.

No matter how much you think you “have to do,” you only have a limited amount of time, energy, and attention to do it.

Time depletes, and is non-renewable, which is why priorities are important.

Energy and attention deplete, but are renewable, which is why rest and recuperation are important.

No matter how much you say you need to get done, there’s only so much you can actually do with the time, energy, and attention you have at the moment.

And nothing is going to change that.

Accept this.

Most people deny this, then feel down on themselves for not being able to do the impossible.

Today is a fixed container and you can only fit within it today’s things.

Don’t worry about what has to be done tomorrow.

You can only do today’s things with today’s resources (time, money, energy, attention, focus).

And that’s okay.

Be present.

Be fully present mentally and physically in whatever you’re doing now–right now.

Use your present task as a mindfulness practice.

Just think about the task in front of you in this moment.

Give it your full mental attention.

Focus on the physical experience of working on that task.

In this moment, tomorrow doesn’t matter, the next minute doesn’t even matter.

Decide that…

There is nowhere else you need to be other than where you are right now.

There is nothing else you need to do other than what you are doing right now.

Your life will never get to “inbox zero.”

But that doesn’t mean you have to never get to a place of peace.

You just can’t make your peace contingent upon completion.

Your goal should not be to finish everything once and for all.

Your goal should be to train yourself to feel okay and at peace even though there are always i’s undotted, t’s uncrossed, and countless balls in the air.

Your goal should be to have the wisdom and flexibility to know where and when to redirect your resources and shift your priorities.

It’s only then, that you can feel peace while pending.