Scared ๐ฉ-less: 4 Mindset Shifts to Overcome Imposter Syndrome & Give You the Courage to Show Your Work
Today, Iโd like to be excited and joyful in the process of writing.
The writing that I’ve done for decades.
The writing thatโs given me a sense of calm, joy, and peace throughout every season of my life.
The writing where ideas came to me effortlessly in such tremendous flow, that it used to stress me out.
The writing I said I’ve wanted to do for a living since I was a child.
The writing that I now have much more time and energy to devote to now that Iโve gotten that pesky full-time job out of the way.
That writing.
Well, nowโtoday, specificallyโthe idea of sitting down to write has had me doing everything but writingโeating key lime pie, watching back to back episodes of Bojack Horseman on Netflix, scrolling through crypto discord channels, doing house chores (I hate house chores), running errands (not usually a big fan of those either), pacing back-and-forth in my hallway for a shockingly embarrassing amount of time, and perhaps most embarrassingly, literally curling into a ball in bed in fetal position, clinching the covers tightly around my neck, as if to protect myself from the feeling of obligation to write, the way a child clinches their covers to protect themselves from the bogeyman.
Whatโs different about today?
Why canโt I write today, when I can write any other day, gleefully, no problem?
Today is the day that I decided to not just wake up, and roll over to grab my journal from my nightstand and free-write my free-flowing thoughts, while laying down on my bed.
The day that I decided to go beyond leaving my writing in the messy, formless, sometimes grammatically incorrect way that it comes out.
This is the day that I decided to sit up at a desk while writingโno, typingโat my computer (on a pomodoro timer, mind you) about a pre-decided subject, and gaspโwith the intention of actually sharing it when Iโm done.
Today is the day I decided to write on purposeโfor someone else, not just for me.
And with that opened up a whole new can of worms thatโs left me in the state of paralysis that Iโm in.
I have never been more afraid in my entire life.
This is coming from someone who has jumped out of a plane three times, scuba dove shipwrecks a hundred feet under the sea, swam with sharks, left everyone and everything I knew and loved to start a new lifeโonce to the opposite side of the country and once to a foreign country, and walked away from the prospect of a steady paycheck to trust myself to make money on my own online.
And look at me now.
I canโt even get past my morning journaling sessionโlet alone get to my computer writing sesh.
My eyes were wide open, unblinking, staring just past the pen and journal that are within armโs reach, within the grasp of my hand, but very strategically not in it.
I was looking just past the pen and not at it, as if trying to avoid eye contact with it because if I do that, maybe it won’t notice me, wonโt be able to ask me for anything or expect anything of meโฆor like the T-Rex in Jurassic Park, maybe the monster won’t attack me, if I’m still enough and don’t look at it.
But that’s the thing.
The monster won’t go away.
The feeling that I need to write, wonโt go away even when the feeling that I canโt persists.
Have you ever felt like you were supposed to do something?
Have you ever been passionate about something or felt uniquely talented at it?
Have you ever lamented over not having enough time (or money) to do that thing?
Have you ever wished you could make a living out of it?
But whenever you really got the chance to do it, you justโฆkinda didnโt?
Has the prospect of putting your work out there and actually taking action on realizing your ideas (whether itโs a creative project, a business idea, a social media presence) scared you back into your comfort zone, frightened you into convincing yourself the level youโre at in life isnโt so bad, and sucked the fun, joy, and peace out of the thing that used to give you fun, joy, and peace?
Well, it probably goes without saying at this pointโme too.
These are the mindset shifts I found necessary to get past that point of discomfort and gain the courage to put myself and my work out there and try something newโฆthe ones that allowed me to actually get these words on a page, on your screen, and before your eyes.
These are the words that I try my best to carry with me when imposter syndrome, perfectionism, and straight up fear, rear their ugly heads.
These are the mindset shifts that I hope will help you when you feel afraid to put your work out there, put yourself out there, build an online presence, or try something new because youโre petrified of being judged, of realizing youโre not as good as you thought, of giving the naysayers a chance to say โsee I told ya you couldnโt do it,โ of confirming the negative voices in your head that taunt you into thinking nobody cares, you have nothing valuable to share, you donโt deserve a seat at the table, you donโt belong at the top, realizing dreams is for other people not for you, and you have no business trying to rise above the level youโre at right now.
Everyone has something to create that can help them utilize their talents, realize their dream, or promote their offerings to take their lives or business to the next levelโa song, a book, a blog post, a social media post, a youtube videoโฆand if youโre human, chances are youโve felt some fear in creating it.
Hopefully the rest of this article helps you overcome that fear so you can at least get to the first step.
01
Nothing has to come of this.
You donโt have to gain dollars, subscribers, awards, or anything out of your creativity.
If you let go of the desire to get, it opens you up to be able to give.
If you release the notion that you have to get something out of creating, it allows you to freely just create and share without stress or anxiety.
And in this space of letting go, is usually where you can create something to give thatโs so valuable that people want to somehow find a way to give back to you.
This is similar to how social anxiety works.
You experience social anxiety because when you are in social situations, you want something from the other personโfor them to like you, for them to think youโre attractive, for them to think youโre smart, for them to laugh at your jokes.
Youโre after some kind of approval or validation from the other person.
And that desperation locks you up, makes you weird, and makes people even less likely to like you, think youโre smart, or laugh at your jokes.
If you didnโt want or need anything from other people, how much easier would social interactions be?
And how much easier would it be for people to like you?
Itโs the same with creativity.
We put undue stress on the process of creation because we want something out of it.
We want people to see it and love it and tell us how brilliant we are.
We want to make our exes jealous.
We want to be respected when we show our work and tell people what we do at dinner parties.
We want to be paid handsomely for the work we create.
We want to be told with likes, shares, and comments it was worth our while to try to make something.
We want to be recognized as one of the greats at our craft.
But if you tell yourself that you donโt have to have any of that, creating becomes a whole lot easier mentally and emotionally.\
02
Put things into perspective.
Sometimes I have to remind myself that life is pretty great.
Oprah and I are still in different tax brackets, which I donโt love, but I have a clean, comfortable roof over my head.
I live a life that is pretty stress free.
I get up every day and have the freedom to make my own choices.
And if youโre reading thisโespecially if youโre reading this from a western countryโmost likely, your life is pretty good too, relatively speaking.
You probably donโt live in a war torn country.
You likely have basic conveniences like indoor plumbing, clean drinking water, and access to smoothie bowls and avocado toast.
Like me, youโre probably better off than a huuuuuuge majority of people in the world.
When I remind myself of thisโall my basic needs (food, shelter, clothing) are met, and I am relatively physically, mentally, and emotionally healthy, suddenly, the over-obsessing and over-stressing about writing start to feel a little insignificant…silly, even.
A touch of guilt and embarrassment even start to creep in.
There are people in the world enduring far worse than a blank page, writerโs block, and a little bout of imposter syndrome.
Itโs not that deep.
03
Commit to sharing your work.
Donโt commit to it being good.
Remove that pressure of it having to be good.
Good is subjective, anyway.
You will create things you think are good that other people will hate.
And you will create things you think are bad that other people will love.
No matter what you do, you will have critics on both ends of the spectrum, and everywhere in between, so does โgoodโ really exist?
Is it really worth trying to live up to this arbitrary subjective definition of โgoodโ that varies from person to person, depending on who you ask?
And do you not have the right to simply share what is inside of you, regardless?
Is it worth holding back what you feel needs to come forth because youโve decided that your work does not live up to this arbitrary standard?
Forget about โgood.โ
Just focus on the sharing.
Tell yourself youโre going to write X number of articles, make X number of youtube videos, record X number of podcastsโand share them.
Noah Kagan has a principle that I really like that he calls โThe Law of 100.โ
Do 100 of something before you even think about complaining or quitting.
Commit to completion and sharing.
Then evaluate yourself according to how consistently you put work out (objective), not how โgoodโ your work is (subjective).
Create and share consistently, and youโll be surprised at how much you will learn, improve, gain confidence in yourself, and see fear dissipate.
04
Even if it is good, itโs still going to suck.
โArtโ (anything you create) is subjective.
Weโre all different people.
We all have different perspectives, different triggers, different backgrounds, different likes, different dislikes.
Your favorite book of all time is someone elseโs least favorite.
The song that makes you want to get up and dance and grin from ear to ear, makes someone else want to stick needles in their eyes and rip their ears off the sides of their face.
Your favorite celebrity is the same person that someone else would love to see drop off the face of the earth.
No matter what you create and no matter how โgoodโ it is, itโs still going to suck to someone.
So if your biggest fear is that your work is going to suck, and youโre living on edge in anticipation that people might hate it, you can go ahead and relax and let that go, because I can tell you right now every single thing you do is going to suckโto someone.
So no need to let the fear of that hold you back from creating.
Trust me. Itโs going to suck. I promise.
Do it anyway.
It’s never the circumstance that’s the problem impeding you from doing a thing.
We love to talk about the things weโll do later, when we graduate from school, start school, get a new job, quit an old job, have more time, money, have the right software, office space, custom neon sign with a succinct yet inspiring quote (just me?).
We complain about all the obstacles in the way, the obstacles are removed, then we freeze and still sit there and do nothing.
The truth is, it’s not your circumstances.
It’s not the thing.
Itโs fear.
It’s you.
It’s all you.
You are in the way.
No matter where you are, you can start from where youโre at, and do something to take the first step towards creating your project, a better version of yourself, and your life into what you ultimately want it to be.