It’s so easy for routines to get out of hand.

There are countless options of things you can include in your routine, and just as many opinions on why you should or should not include them.

We get guilted into these endless lists of morning and night habits because “experts” instill the fear of God in us, and convince us that we need to do them–all of them–to be successful.

So you end up doing meditation, stretch and mobility, a mindfulness check in, brain dump, trauma dump, sauna, cold plunge, steam room, breathwork, reading a book, listening to a podcast, jumping on a trampoline, and you top it all off with an 11-step Korean skincare regimen.

Now, you’re ready to start your day.

But wait–your day is over.

You’d go to your job, but your 4-hour morning routine and 4-hour night routine leave no room for work.

What are supposed to be bookends for your day, expand so much that they take over your day.

Instead of helping to prime you for and decompress you from your life’s projects, your routines have become your life’s projects.

The most effective routine is not the most intricate, nor the one with the most components backed by medical professionals and supported by scientific studies.

The most effective routine is the one you do most consistently, and the one you do most consistently is the simplest one.

We think we need complexity, when what we really need is simplicity.

Enter the 3-2-1 Night Routine.

There is much importance placed on the morning routine because it’s how you start your day.

But I would argue that the best way to get a good start on your day, is to be intentional about what you do the night before.

The 3-2-1 Night Routine is a simple little combo I came up with to prime yourself emotionally and prepare yourself mentally for the day that lies ahead.

It’s simple enough to be repeated every night, and takes 5 minutes–10 if you’re an overachiever.

These are the 3 components of the 3-2-1 Night Routine:

• 3 things to be grateful for
• 2 possibilities
• 1 request

It’s the perfect one-two(-three) punch to increase happiness, boost confidence, and calm anxiety.

Here’s a little more about each component…

Gratitude

There is a reason why gratitude is the first part of this routine, and why it requires the highest number of things to list.

When you focus your attention on what you lack, your mood shifts for the worse.

When you focus your attention on what you already have, your mood shifts for the better.

If you have found yourself in a moment of self pity, you are undoubtedly focused on something you have not attained, become, or done.

If you have found yourself feeling hopeless, you are undoubtedly focused on something you have not attained, become, or done.

If you have found yourself feeling worried, you are undoubtedly focused on something you have not attained, become, or done.

When you focus more on the things you lack than the things you have, not only does your mood suffer, but so does your outlook.

A regular gratitude practice not only serves to give you greater hope for your future, but it enhances your ability to enjoy your present. 

Gratitude has the power to turn around your attitude.

Don’t worry, I cringed too, reading that sentence out loud, but it’s true–it just unfortunately happened to rhyme.

Gratitude is the antidote to all negative emotions.

Gratitude takes the power away from your circumstances and transfers it to you.

Gratitude takes the power away from the intangible unknown, and gives it to what is tangible and known.

Nightly:

Every night, write down 3 (specific) things you are grateful for.

You don’t have to write an extended essay on each one, but be specific enough to elicit an emotional reaction in yourself–a simple “what” and “why” will do. Your list should be specific enough to where everything on it could be attributed to you specifically, and not just anyone else.

Example:

• I’m grateful to live in the mountains, so I can easily hike (one of my favorite activities), multiple times a week.
• I’m grateful for my weekly video calls with my brother that always leave me feeling like everything is going to be okay. 
• I’m grateful for my social skills that allow me to easily make friends everywhere I go.

Possibilities

You could think of these as affirmations, but I prefer to phrase them as “possibilities,” because that word carries with it a different mentality. 

Affirmations almost feel like something you don’t already believe, but are trying to force yourself to believe and convince yourself of.

They can feel like random, impersonal, positive statements that you feel obligated to repeat regardless of your feelings about what you’re saying.

Affirmations can mandate a difficult emotional or psychological leap, especially if what you are affirming is far outside of your present circumstances.

There’s a time and a place for affirmations, and they can be effective in their own way, but for this exercise, I want you to think in terms of possibilities.

With possibilities, you’re not burdened with the request to believe, but just to entertain–to entertain the possibility of the realization of your dreams and goals.

It’s a lesser ask–you’re basically just coming up with ideal answers to the question “What if?”

If it helps, you can even phrase them as “What if?” questions.

In fact, this may even be better because it forces you to sit with the feeling of what it would be like to have that thing, and visualize what you would be able to do as a result of having that thing.

The benefit of this exercise is that it gently expands your beliefs about what you are capable of, and opens your mind to possibilities you may not have considered or felt confident voicing out loud.

But there is another benefit as well.

Your acknowledgement of possibilities increases your awareness.

And increased awareness paves the way for increased possibilities.

Whatever you see as possible, you not only unconsciously start working towards, but start noticing things that can help get you to where you want to be, so you can take advantage of opportunities you might have otherwise overlooked.

And taking advantage of new opportunities of course leads to new possibilities.

Nightly:

Write down 2 things that could possibly happen that you would like to happen. These can be phrased as statements or “What if?” questions.

Example:

I make $10k a month in passive income, while I road trip in an RV around the United States.

I have my own successful interior design firm.

OR

What if I made $10k a month in passive income, while I road tripped in an RV around the United States?

What if I had my own successful interior design firm?

Request

Don’t underestimate the power of your subconscious mind.

The default is to attempt to solve our problems with direct focus, and conscious attention.

But it’s amazing what happens when we sit back and receive instead of chase, when we relax instead of tense, when we allow instead of force.

Surely, you’ve had the experience of racking your brain, driving yourself insane trying to solve a problem or come up with an idea, to no avail.

But out of nowhere, when you were doing something seemingly completely unrelated, after you let go of the goal of finding a solution, that’s when the solution appeared.

When you are making a request, make it immaterial.

It could be something like a business idea, a creative idea, creative inspiration for a particular project, an idea on how to market a project, a plan to generate income, a decision on the best place for you to move to next, any problem you’re trying to solve.

Make your request gently, without doubt, fear, or anxiety.

Anxiety is the state we are usually in when we are trying to figure out a solution consciously, so in order to receive a solution subconsciously, you must relax.

This works best when you are calm, not expecting any result, but also not acting as if you believe a result is impossible.

The books This Is It: The Art of Metaphysical Demonstration & The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy are great additional reading on this subject.

Nightly:

Write down 1 immaterial request for a solution to an intellectual problem you have.

Example:

I’d like to have an idea for my thesis.

P.S.—

If there were a fourth step in the routine, it would be to commit to doing this for at least 30 days–well, nights.

You can track it in my free habit tracker.

Take note of the differences you experience in your inner and outer world.

I’m confident that you will feel more optimistic about your future, more satisfied about your present, and will start to see things around you change for the better.