Whenever we set out to do something new, and strive to ascend to our next level, the voices of doubt inevitably come flooding in, convincing us we are not capable, and telling us why.

In my experience and observation…

There are 4 predictable stages of doubt, each accompanied by its own script, each characterized by its own fear, and each representing a level we struggle to overcome to change our identity.

These show up in a predictable order, as when one voice of doubt is debunked, another comes in to supercede it:

1. I can’t do it (fear of incompetence)
2. I can’t do it again (fear of disillusionment)
3. I can’t do it consistently (fear of discontinuance)
4. I can’t keep it (fear of loss)

Five years ago, when I set out to make a drastic change in my life and move from the corporate world to the entrepreneurship world, the main challenges that I faced were mental and emotional.

Over the course of my journey, I paid close attention to what was going on in my head, and found that I passed through each and every one of these stages, which is how I discovered their existence.

01  /  You can’t do it.

The corporate world was the only world I’d ever known.

The only way I knew how to generate money was to look for a job, get hired, do what I was told by superiors, and collect a regular paycheck.

But the day came when I grew weary of the corporate world–more specifically, the time, financial, and location limitations it put on my life.

In order to overcome these limitations, I had no choice but to entertain the idea of online entrepreneurship.

I had to figure out a way to make money online.

While I loved the idea of it, because the execution of it was so foreign to me, the first voices of resistance popped up…

“It’s impossible.”

“Even if it is possible, it’s possible for other people, but not for you.”

“Either way, at the end of the day…you can’t do it.”

But then…plot twist–

I did it.

After researching a few different online business models, buying a few courses, taking action despite doubt, and creating my first product and putting it up for sale online…I did it!

I wasn’t rich, but I’d made my first dollar online.

I’d made my first sale.

But was that enough to quiet the naysaying voice of doubt?

Nope.

In the face of my triumph, even with the first negative belief debunked, it now came up with another one….

02  /  You can’t do it again.

On the one hand, things were great.

I got my proof of concept.

I took an idea in my mind and made it real.

I proved that I can make money online.

But I didn’t want to get my hopes up.

What if it doesn’t happen again?

Even though I’d now overcome the seemingly impossible, I dismissed it.

Maybe it was just a fluke.

I got lucky.

Sure, I made one sale, but that doesn’t mean I’ll make another.

The realist in me contained my excitement to manage my expectations, but the optimist in me obsessively refreshed my sales dashboards to see if the numbers would go up, and I could in fact make another sale, proving that it wasn’t just a fluke.

And lo and behold, I made another sale.

Did this shut up the voice?

Nope.

Now it had a new story…

03  /  You can’t do it consistently.

They say…

• If you can make 1 dollar you can make 100
• If you can make 100 you can make 1,000
• If you can make 1,000 you can make 100,000
• And if you can make 100,000 you can make 1 million

But at first, I didn’t fully believe that for myself.

Okay, I’d made a couple of sales now, but I can’t live off of that.

The money I made from my first couple sales wouldn’t even cover the cost of a Chipotle burrito…not with guacamole, anyway.

So while it was exciting that I’d made sales, the amount was not life changing, and was not looking like it was going to be able to be.

Making a couple sales is nice, but I’m going to need to make many multiples of sales every day, day after day, over the long term, in order for me to support a lifestyle off of this.

My excitement was short-lived, and disappointment and self doubt set in.

Despite my internal challenges, I kept my head down and kept working at my online business.

Over the course of several months, I started to see my income increase more and more until I was making enough to pay my cell phone bill, then my car insurance, gas, groceries, then my student loan bills, then my rent, then all my bills, then eventually, all my bills plus enough leftover to save, invest and play with.

My income was steadily growing in a meaningful way, and I’d matched the level of income I was making from my previous full time job.

And this started happening month after month.

But after several months of this, did that little nagging negative voice stop?

Nope.

It invented a new concern…

04  /  You can’t keep it.

Ok, you did the impossible.

You surpassed the milestone of making your first dollar.

Then you did the impossible again and made your first few sales.

Then you did the impossible yet again, and kept replicating that success enough to create a full time job’s income online, and mostly passively.

I was excited about having created a liveable wage for myself, but with each passing month of success, I gritted my teeth, wondering if this was going to be the last month.

I lived in fear that one day the rug would be pulled out from under me.

I held my breath.

I was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

There’s something in you that just can’t be satisfied.

It refuses to be wrong about your limitations.

And when you challenge it, instead of it conceding and deeming you to be the badass you are, it both lowers the level of your accomplishments and instills fear in you that all will be taken away.

Don’t let this part of you win.

The trick your mind plays

When you haven’t yet achieved something, the tendency is to expand it mentally to be out of your reach, and put it in a different league than you’re in.

Then, if or when you do achieve it, the tendency is to then shrink the same feat mentally and diminish it to match your low level of self perception.

In other words…

You have certain endeavors made out to be so big in your head, but when you slowly start to accomplish them, instead of giving yourself credit and expanding your perception of yourself and your capabilities, you diminish the very endeavors you once thought were impossible.

In your head, you go from:

“This is impossible, there’s no way I would ever be able to do this…”

To:

“Oh, well if I did it, it wasn’t that hard then, it wasn’t that big of a deal…”

If something was at any point a “big deal” in your mind and you achieved it, that means that it was a big deal, and you are too.

Give yourself more credit–both for what you’ve done and for what you’re capable of.

It’s hard to do something you’ve never done before, but it’s even harder to form a new personal identity around that in a lasting way.

Instead of thinking that your achievements result in the formation of a new version of you that can continue to rise to each subsequent challenge that shows up in your life, the default is to think that you’ll drop to the lower version of yourself and lose all you’ve gained.

Don’t live your life in fear of incompetence, disillusionment, discontinuance, or loss.

When you do this, not only are you not allowing yourself to enjoy the fruits of your labor, but you are also not allowing identity change to cement itself and sink in, bolstering you for your next challenge.

Every time you accomplish something, you should be celebrating, and also cementing a new identity as you’re proving to yourself your competence.

Your success doesn’t have to be a fluke.

It can become a new identity, if you allow it to be.