Sometimes, doors close on us when we don’t have the courage or foresight to close them ourselves.

In these moments, we should allow that closed door to remain closed, and trust that if it closed, we are being redirected to something better that we would not have had the courage or foresight to pursue otherwise.

Your comfort zone comes with blinders.

From inside of it, you cannot see all of what you are missing.

It is not until you are forced outside of it that you realize the extent of the limitations you were placing on yourself, and can see what all is available to you, and see that you are capable of attaining it.

When was the last time something didn’t go your way?

You lost an opportunity, a relationship, a job, an apartment?

How did you feel?

How did you react?

One fateful phone call…

About six years ago, I received a life-altering phone call from my manager.

At the time, I had recently gotten promoted to what was pretty much a dream job as far as jobs were concerned.

It was salaried, done on my own schedule, and required me to be in an office only a handful of days out of the year.

But, it was still a job, so it placed limitations on my financial, time, and location freedom, a fact that I was becoming increasingly aware of and bothered by, at the time.

But, because it was a pretty sweet gig, I stayed in it, despite my dissatisfaction, until one day, I was finally forced out.

My manager called me with hesitation in her voice, and I could tell that she was very gently trying to choose her words carefully and be uncharacteristically mindful of her delivery.

She was calling to tell me I had gotten laid off.

We both did, actually.

They dissolved the entire department that me and my manager were working in.

My manager was bracing for impact as she made calls to notify everyone of their dismissal, but when I heard the news, I immediately smiled, and felt a sense of happiness, relief, and peace.

I had just been wrestling with feeling stuck, but not knowing what I could or should do about it.

And now, boom–the obstacle was removed for me from my path.

And that’s exactly how I saw it.

The job was an obstacle blocking me from fulfilling my higher potential, and now I had been gifted release from the hold it had on me.

I was offered a referral for another job in a different department, but I declined. 

I celebrated the closed door, and let it stay closed.

I didn’t go clawing back.

I didn’t question why they dissolved our department.

I didn’t think of how good I was at my job, how hard I worked, how I did nothing wrong, or how I didn’t deserve to be let go.

I accepted the loss and let go with no resistance, and not only that, but with celebration.

It was a confirmation–or at least I took it as one–that my desires for transition were valid, I was on the right path, and I could trust the flow of life to lead me in the direction I wanted to go.

As a result of losing that job, I started an online business that allowed me to generate passive income, move out of my home country to travel full-time to dozens of countries, and have incredible adventures going on safaris, scuba diving, volcano hiking, making memories and making friends across multiple continents.

This was not a life I ever anticipated for myself, ever wanted for myself, or ever knew to even aspire to.

But I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

And I have a closed door to thank for it.

The other side

But I’ve also been on the other end of that spectrum.

Where I’ve experienced an untimely loss in business, and instead of seeing the silver lining, I went straight to feelings of injustice, blame, and self pity.

I took it to mean I was doing something wrong, instead of something right.

I saw it as me being punished.

I saw it as proof of my inadequacies.

This is the more common experience when doors are closed in our faces…especially when the path forward is still unclear.

We’re quick to victimize ourselves.

We look for someone to point the finger at, whether it be a particular person, or a larger entity like the government, the economy, etc…

“They did this to me.”

“They ruined this for me.”

“They took away this opportunity from me.”

We spend more energy fighting for our past than fighting for our future.

And we’re quick to curse our future over what is happening in our present. 

Because something is being taken away from you now, you equate that to something else being taken away from you later.

A job is being taken away, therefore your opportunity for being wealthy in the future is taken along with it.

A relationship ends, therefore your opportunity to be in a loving partnership in the future is taken along with it.

But that isn’t true, even if it feels like it in the moment when the sting of loss is fresh.

The shift

You get to create the story around your closed door, so why choose a disempowering one?

You’re not being punished, you’re just being forced to move.

You take it to automatically be a move down, but who said that other than you?

It is up to you to choose which direction–whether you are going to move down, laterally, or up.

If you choose to, a closed door is an opportunity to take yourself to a higher level.

If you don’t allow it to defeat you, you can use it to elevate you.

It will force you to explore opportunities for advancement that you wouldn’t have otherwise if you’d just stayed in your comfort zone.

When doors close on us, we tell ourselves…

“I’m not ready.”

“I must not be on the right track.”

“Whatever that next level thing is, I can’t do it.”

But if the door is closed…

You are ready.

You are on the right track.

You can do it.